Why Satan: Essays on Our Varied Paths to Modern Satanism

The path to modern Satanism is different for everyone. We had been playing with the idea of sharing our stories for quite some time before we decided to just go ahead and make it happen. We have all come to this path for our own diverse reasons, and sometimes commonalities. We are simply asking to get to know you. We are also hoping that every narrative can comfort others, who are interested. We will be making this an ongoing feature on our blog. If you would like to contribute, you can use our form or send your responses to namah@renosatanic.com

*Submissions may be slightly edited for length and clarity.

Why Satan: Namah's journey to Modern Satanism
Photo by Christel Yuen on Unsplash

Why Satan, or How I Became a Satanist

I was 8 years old when I lost my faith in the Mormon Church. I had been baptized and confirmed; jumped through the ecclesiastic hoops appropriate for my young age. I was in a community that, at that time, was the majority of Salt Lake City, Utah. I was in Sacrament Meeting on one Sunday when a Stake President began preaching antisemitism from the pulpit. NO ONE seemed enraged. I was too young to realize that I could get up and walk out. I didn’t feel I could ask questions of this great patriarchal figure who would save my soul. I didn’t go back until I was 12.

Isolated from some of my friends because I had left The Church, yes in Utah there is only one The Church, I went back. Twelve is an awkward age for anyone, but in Utah where social life is nearly directly tied to The Church, it can be truly lonely. So I went back. At the age of 12, I was told my body was not mine, that my mind was not mine, it belonged to my father and then my husband. This time I asked questions. I lived in this body why is it not mine. What I think is mine, my education, my understanding, and my experience. Why is me not mine? I was told that was Satan talking, leading me astray and that I was falling into the Abyss. This time I walked out, and in true tween way slammed the door behind me and went home.

I am lucky my parents did not care that I had issues with the Mormon Church and supported me in my leaving. It was at this time I also began protesting for reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ rights. This was my teenage years. I did my best. 

Many years later after moving from Atheism, Wicca, Eclectic Paganism, The OTO, strange spiritual beliefs picked up from many faiths, Demonology, and back around to Atheism, I realized I was very secular and believed in Humanism. It was 2014 and I was watching the news and The Satanic Temple was mentioned. Here was a group of people using the same rhetoric that I had grown up with, “What if Satanists wanted to—–?” to show injustice and hypocrisy in our country.  I laughed, I thought it was perfect. How amazing to see the Adversary as an adversarial tool for good. The true Light Bringer. The myth of the Garden of Eden used against people who I had grown up with that perverted the Myth. It was a coming to Satan moment. An epiphany, no a theophany.

I immediately went on-line and looked up The Satanic Temple. I read the Seven Tenets, twice even three times. I stared at the screen for several minutes just letting this concept of secular humanism wash over me. I then fell absolutely fell in love with The Third Tenet: The body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. OH HOLY HELL! This belief, this personal commandment of mine, exists in a group. A group of people that are out working towards the same goals I have and have a similar philosophy. I promptly donated $5.00.

I kept my weather eye on The Satanic Temple and Lucien Greaves for another five years. It was wonderful to watch the movement grow and to continue the fight for someone like you me. Someone who felt that the activism that the world needed was not for her. I would even go so far as to say I was incapable of doing. 

I had been moving towards Satanism on my own because of the secular humanism; of some sense of community among Godless Heathens, though I would not have called myself a Satanist. When I found our local group and realized there really was a community here who shared my beliefs, where I could engage in the same kind of activism that once meant so much to me; after that meeting, I declared myself a Satanist. 

I have not looked back. I am a Satanist. It has been a thirty-year journey to come to this point. Now that I am here, I am thrilled. There is a legitimate sense of confidence, drive, and community that I know I can be engaged in, that wants to help create the type of world I want to live in. I am a Satanist.

Hail Satan!

Would you like to read more stories about our personal journies to Modern Satanism? There’s more here…