Why Satan: Anabel Nuit’s Story

Our paths to modern Satanism are varied. Why Satan is our ongoing blog series where we tell about our individual journies in our own voices. We are hoping that these stories provide inspiration and comfort to those taking this path less traveled. If you would like to participate and share your story, you may email your contribution to [email protected] or, if you prefer, fill out our form.

*Submissions may be slightly edited for length and clarity.

Photo by Allie on Unsplash

For me, Satanism is liberation. Satan is the ultimate adversary and opposition to what is considered to be “normal”.  I found myself looking for something in Satan a long time ago and I had a mentor of mine who helped me begin my path to find modern Satanism and all that it means.

My mentor, whose name was A.H. gave me one of my first writing jobs.  He also happened to be a modern Satanist before the term even existed.  I was doing online research about occult subjects back in very early internet times and found an online encyclopedia of the occult.  The online encyclopedia didn’t have any information on what I was looking for but I found that A.H. was looking for writers to write articles.  I gave him a blind submission and explained a bit about myself.  To my surprise, A. wrote me back very quickly and asked me to write any article that I wanted, after I submitted it to him.  This was my first professional writing job.

I eventually began to help edit articles he wrote and that the other contributors wrote.  A. sent me an article about Satan and said that he was a Satanist.  The only stuff I’d heard about Satan was from our common cultural exposure to Judeo-Christian religion as well as my own reading of Dante’s Divine Comedy, The Book of Job, and going to church for years.  I asked A. what being a Satanist meant to him and it meant freedom and liberation. A. had been born with MS, was always handicapped, and was wheelchair bound since he had gone to college in his twenties.  He had suffered at the hands of many religious people in school and at various facilities where he lived.  A. encouraged me to read LaVey’s Satanic Bible.  I found a copy and read it.

I told A. that LaVey had many great ideas but he couldn’t write.  The book can be a slog but I absolutely agreed that Satan was a way to liberation, to be who you were and really wanted to be.  I disagreed with the dogmatic Darwinist pseudo-science that LaVey and many of his followers espoused, as did A.  We talked through that to what the heart of Satanism is: liberation and choice.

Within the metaphor of Satan, A. was able to find a way to be free and be more than what most people said he could be or do.  This is the essence of modern Satanism and what A. believed in since he was in his 20s.  He always encouraged people to find out things and discover what they about themselves, life, and the world.  Knowledge is Satanic and liberating.

A.H. passed away before I could tell him that I have become a Satanist.  I know he would be proud and understand. As A said about Satan, I absolutely agree: “It is irrelevant whether the name Satan references a symbol, force, or deity, or any combination of the three when seeking the Satanic intellect and/or personality. Usually, an ardent Satanist doesn’t seek these abilities but finds he has acquired them naturally.” When you find Satan, you will find what you need.  And I have found what I needed. Hail Satan.

Would you like to read more stories about our personal journies to Modern Satanism? There’s more here…

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